Existential

Unpack the quiet dread of being, one dense, beautiful sentence at a time.

These are the books that linger, exploring the vast, often unsettling landscapes of human consciousness and cosmic indifference. Expect a slow, deliberate pace, a pervasive melancholia, and narratives that prioritize profound inner journeys and philosophical inquiry over external action. For readers who seek to grapple with the big questions, wrapped in lyrical prose and worlds both familiar and chillingly alien.

30 books
Heart of Darkness And Youth 📖
1. Heart of Darkness And Youth
Conrad Joseph
Heart of Darkness (1899) is a novella by Polish-English novelist Joseph Conrad, about a voyage up the Congo River into the Congo Free State, in the heart of Africa, by the story's narrator Charles Marlow. Marlow tells his story to friends aboard a boat anchored on the River Thames. Joseph Conrad is one of the greatest English writers, and Heart of Darkness is considered his best. His readers are brought to face our psychological selves to answer, ‘Who is the true savage?’. Originally published in 1902, Heart of Darkness remains one of this century’s most enduring works of fiction. Written several years after Joseph Conrad’s grueling sojourn in the Belgian Congo, the novel is a complex meditation on colonialism, evil, and the thin line between civilization and barbarity.
literary fiction colonial adventure existential oppressive desolate
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Fear and Trembling Dialectical Lyric by Johannes De Silentio 📖
2. Fear and Trembling Dialectical Lyric by Johannes De Silentio
Søren Hannay Alast Kierkegaard
*Frygt og Bæven* er et filosofisk værk af Søren Kierkegaard, udgivet 16. oktober 1843 under pseudonymet Johannes de Silentio. Værket er en udvidet meditation over Mosebog 22, også kendt som Isaks binding. Kierkegaard forsøger at forstå Abrahams indre psykologiske tilstand under hans tre og en halv dag lange rejse til Moriah. Teksten forsøger at vise, hvordan det ikke er let at forstå Abrahams handlinger gennem etiske kategorier som Sittlichkeit eller det universelle. I stedet hævder Silentio, at Abraham kun kan forstås gennem en ny kategori kaldet tro.
philosophical fiction existential philosophy existential paradoxical melancholic
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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone 📖
3. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
Lori Gottlieb
From a New York Times best-selling author, psychotherapist, and national advice columnist, a hilarious, thought-provoking, and surprising new book that takes us behind the scenes of a therapist’s world—where her patients are looking for answers (and so is she). One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose of­fice she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but. As Gottlieb explores the inner chambers of her patients’ lives — a self-absorbed Hollywood producer, a young newlywed diagnosed with a terminal illness, a senior citizen threatening to end her life on her birthday if nothing gets better, and a twenty-something who can’t stop hooking up with the wrong guys — she finds that the questions they are struggling with are the very ones she is now bringing to Wendell. With startling wisdom and humor, Gottlieb invites us into her world as both clinician and patient, examining the truths and fictions we tell ourselves and others as we teeter on the tightrope between love and desire, meaning and mortality, guilt and redemption, terror and courage, hope and change. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is rev­olutionary in its candor, offering a deeply per­sonal yet universal tour of our hearts and minds and providing the rarest of gifts: a boldly reveal­ing portrait of what it means to be human, and a disarmingly funny and illuminating account of our own mysterious lives and our power to transform them. ([source](https://www.hmhbooks.com/shop/books/maybe-you-should-talk-to-someone/9781328663047))
literary fiction memoir introspective existential raw
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Flowers for Algernon 📖
4. Flowers for Algernon
Daniel Keyes
Until he was thirty-two, Charlie Gordon --gentle, amiable, oddly engaging-- had lived in a kind of mental twilight. He knew knowledge was important and had learned to read and write after a fashion, but he also knew he wasn't nearly as bright as most of the people around him. There was even a white mouse named Algernon who outpaced Charlie in some ways. But a remarkable operation had been performed on Algernon, and now he was a genius among mice. Suppose Charlie underwent a similar operation...
literary fiction psychological drama melancholic existential isolated
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What Dreams May Come 📖
5. What Dreams May Come
Richard Matheson
literary fiction paranormal fiction melancholic desolate existential
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75
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I Who Have Never Known Men 📖
6. I Who Have Never Known Men
Jacqueline Harpman
A work of fantasy, I Who Have Never Known Men is the haunting and unforgettable account of a near future on a barren earth where women are kept in underground cages guarded by uniformed groups of men. It is narrated by the youngest of the women, the only one with no memory of what the world was like before the cages, who must teach herself, without books or sexual contact, the essential human emotions of longing, loving, learning, companionship, and dying.
science fiction post-apocalyptic dystopian existential desolate melancholic
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Buy on Amazon Kindle
The Day of the Triffids Revolt of the Triffids 📖
7. The Day of the Triffids Revolt of the Triffids
John Wyndham
When Bill Masen wakes up blindfolded in hospital there is a bitter irony in his situation. Carefully removing his bandages, he realizes that he is the only person who can see: everyone else, doctors and patients alike, have been blinded by a meteor shower. Now, with civilization in chaos, the triffids - huge, venomous, large-rooted plants able to 'walk', feeding on human flesh - can have their day.The Day of the Triffids, published in 1951, expresses many of the political concerns of its time: the Cold War, the fear of biological experimentation and the man-made apocalypse. However, with its terrifyingly believable insights into the genetic modification of plants, the book is more relevant today than ever before. [Comment by Liz Jensen on The Guardian][1]: > As a teenager, one of my favourite haunts was Oxford's Botanical Gardens. I'd head straight for the vast heated greenhouses, where I'd pity my adolescent plight, chain-smoke, and glory in the insane vegetation that burgeoned there. The more rampant, brutally spiked, poisonous, or cruel to insects a plant was, the more it appealed to me. I'd shove my butts into their root systems. They could take it. My librarian mother disapproved mightily of the fags but when under interrogation I confessed where I'd been hanging out – hardly Sodom and Gomorrah – she spotted a literary opportunity, and slid John Wyndham's The Day of the Triffids my way. I read it in one sitting, fizzing with the excitement of recognition. I knew the triffids already: I'd spent long hours in the jungle with them, exchanging gases. Wyndham loved to address the question that triggers every invented world: the great "What if . . ." What if a carnivorous, travelling, communicating, poison-spitting oil-rich plant, harvested in Britain as biofuel, broke loose after a mysterious "comet-shower" blinded most of the population? That's the scenario faced by triffid-expert Bill Masen, who finds himself a sighted man in a sightless nation. Cataclysmic change established, cue a magnificent chain reaction of experimental science, physical and political crisis, moral dilemmas, new hierarchies, and hints of a new world order. Although the repercussions of an unprecedented crisis and Masen's personal journey through the new wilderness form the backbone of the story, it's the triffids that root themselves most firmly in the reader's memory. Wyndham described them botanically, but he left enough room for the reader's imagination to take over. The result being that everyone who reads The Day of the Triffids creates, in their mind's eye, their own version of fiction's most iconic plant. Mine germinated in an Oxford greenhouse, in a cloud of cigarette smoke. [1]: http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2011/may/14/science-fiction-authors-choice
science fiction post-apocalyptic dystopian melancholic desolate existential
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Almond A Novel 📖
8. Almond A Novel
Sohn Won-pyung
A BTS fan favorite! A WALL STREET JOURNAL STORIES THAT CAN TAKE YOU ANYWHERE PICK * ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY'S STAY HOME AND READ PICK * SALON'S BEST AND BOLDEST * BUSTLE'S MOST ANTICIPATED The Emissary meets The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime in this poignant and triumphant story about how love, friendship, and persistence can change a life forever. This story is, in short, about a monster meeting another monster. One of the monsters is me. Yunjae was born with a brain condition called Alexithymia that makes it hard for him to feel emotions like fear or anger. He does not have friends—the two almond-shaped neurons located deep in his brain have seen to that—but his devoted mother and grandmother provide him with a safe and content life. Their little home above his mother’s used bookstore is decorated with colorful Post-it notes that remind him when to smile, when to say "thank you," and when to laugh. Then on Christmas Eve—Yunjae’s sixteenth birthday—everything changes. A shocking act of random violence shatters his world, leaving him alone and on his own. Struggling to cope with his loss, Yunjae retreats into silent isolation, until troubled teenager Gon arrives at his school, and they develop a surprising bond. As Yunjae begins to open his life to new people—including a girl at school—something slowly changes inside him. And when Gon suddenly finds his life at risk, Yunjae will have the chance to step outside of every comfort zone he has created to perhaps become the hero he never thought he would be.
literary fiction psychological drama melancholic oppressive existential
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How It Feels to Float 📖
9. How It Feels to Float
Fox Helena
literary fiction contemporary literary fiction with magical realism elements melancholic existential haunting
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Lord Jim 📖
10. Lord Jim
Joseph Conrad
This compact novel, completed in 1900, as with so many of the great novels of the time, is at its baseline a book of the sea. An English boy in a simple town has dreams bigger than the outdoors and embarks at an early age into the sailor's life. The waters he travels reward him with the ability to explore the human spirit, while Joseph Conrad launches the story into both an exercise of his technical prowess and a delicately crafted picture of a character who reaches the status of a literary hero.
literary fiction psychological drama melancholic existential lyrical
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Martin Eden 📖
11. Martin Eden
Jack London
Jack London's Martin Eden was first published in 1909 and is the story of a young writer's quest for celebrity and love. Much loved by writers who identify with Martin's belief that when he posted a manuscript, 'there was no human editor at the other end, but a mere cunning arrangement of cogs that changed the manuscript from one envelope to another and stuck on the stamps,' that automatically returned it slapped with a rejection slip. ---------- Also contained in: - [Best of Jack London](https://openlibrary.org/works/OL144769W) - [The Collected Jack London](https://openlibrary.org/works/OL15031706W/The_Collected_Jack_London) - [Novels and Social Writings](https://openlibrary.org/works/OL74447W/Novels_and_Social_Writings)
literary fiction coming of age introspective existential lyrical
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Grendel 📖
12. Grendel
Gardner John
The first and most terrifying monster in English literature, from the great early epic Beowulf, tells his own side of the story in this frequently banned book. This classic and much lauded retelling of Beowulf follows the monster Grendel as he learns about humans and fights the war at the center of the Anglo Saxon classic epic. This is the book William Gass called "one of the finest of our contemporary fictions."
fantasy epic fantasy / dark fantasy existential nihilistic lyrical
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Buy on Amazon Kindle
Last of the Breed 📖
13. Last of the Breed
L'Amour, Louis
A United States Air Force pilot is shot down over Siberia in the Soviet Union during the 1980s and held prisoner at a remote camp, but soon escapes into an even greater prison -- the vast, harsh landscape. However, because he is a native Sioux Indian with survival knowledge he learned as a boy, Major Joe Mack must use all his hunting, trapping and evasion skills to escape his pursuers, especially a ruthless Yakut who follows him. Considered one of L'Amour's best novels, this classic story of adventure is richly textured, deftly plotted and riveting to the end.
adventure fiction survival thriller gritty desolate existential
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Locus, January 2015 📖
14. Locus, January 2015
4th in the Abhorsen series. Sixteen-year-old Clariel is not adjusting well to her new life in the city of Belisaere, the capital of the Old Kingdom. She misses roaming freely within the forests of Estwael, and she feels trapped within the stone city walls. And in Belisaere she is forced to follow the plans, plots and demands of everyone, from her parents to her maid, to the sinister Guildmaster Kilp. Clariel can see her freedom slipping away. It seems too that the city itself is descending into chaos, as the ancient rules binding Abhorsen, King and Clayr appear to be disintegrating. With the discovery of a dangerous Free Magic creature loose in the city, Clariel is given the chance both to prove her worth and make her escape. But events spin rapidly out of control. Clariel finds herself more trapped than ever, until help comes from an unlikely source. But the help comes at a terrible cost. Clariel must question the motivations and secret hearts of everyone around her - and it is herself she must question most of all.
science fiction speculative fiction intellectual meta-fictional existential
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The Wall 📖
15. The Wall
Marlen Haushofer
Die Geschichte einer Frau, die sich plötzlich als einzige Überlebende in einem genau umgrenzten Stück Natur gefangen sieht. Mit einem zugelaufenen Hund, einer Katze, einer trächtigen Kuh richtet sie sich in ihrer Rolle ein, lernt mühsam, was sie als Städterin nie gebraucht hat, beginnt auf den Rückseiten alter Kalender ihre Erfahrungen zu notieren. Nach und nach lernt sie sich kennen, spürt eine langsame Befreiung. Für die Frau, die einmal eine Familie hatte, gibt es keine Konventionen mehr, denn "alle, denen zuliebe ich ein Leben lang gelogen habe, sind tot". (Klappentext)
literary fiction post-apocalyptic survival melancholic existential lyrical
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The Vertical Plane 📖
16. The Vertical Plane
Webster, Ken
For a period of two years, Ken Webster found himself in the extraordinary position of corresponding directly with an individual who had lived on the site of his own cottage four centuries earlier. The correspondence began with messages left on his home computer on the kitchen table, and ended with communications scrawled directly onto paper. Fully prepared for some form of elaborate hoax, Webster found to his consternation that the language of the messages tallied precisely with 16th century English usage. The Vertical Plane is a riveting personal experience of an inexplicable fault in the fabric of time – and a moving account of a relationship mediated across four hundred years.
literary fiction paranormal mystery melancholic uncanny existential
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Night Flight 📖
17. Night Flight
Saint-Exupéry, Antoine de
*Night Flight* (French title: *Vol de Nuit*) is the second novel by French writer and aviator Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. It was first published in 1931 and became an international bestseller. The book is based on Saint-Exupéry's experiences as an airmail pilot and as a director of the Aeroposta Argentina airline, based in Argentina. The characters were also loosely based on people Saint-Exupéry knew in South America. Notably, the character of Rivière was inspired by Didier Daurat, operations director of the Aéropostale. More details can be found in Saint-Exupéry's 1939 memoir, *Wind, Sand and Stars*. (Source: Wikipedia)
literary fiction philosophical fiction melancholic existential bleak
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The First to Die at the End 📖
18. The First to Die at the End
Adam Silvera
It’s the night before Death-Cast goes live, and there’s one question on everyone’s mind: Can Death-Cast actually predict death, or is it an elaborate hoax? Orion Pagan has waited years for someone to tell him that he’s going to die, given his serious heart condition. Valentino Prince has a long and promising future ahead of him and only registered for Death-Cast after his twin sister nearly died in a car accident. Orion and Valentino cross paths in Times Square and immediately feel a deep connection. But when the first End Day calls go out, their lives are changed for ever – one of them receives a call . . . the other doesn’t.
science fiction speculative fiction existential urgent romantic
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Idoru 📖
19. Idoru
Gibson, William
From first page Berkley paperback September 1997: **21st century Tokyo, after the millennial quake. Is something different here, in the very nature of reality? Or is it that something violently *new* is about to happen...** *Colin Laney is here looking for work. He is an intuitive fisher for patterns of information, the "signature" an individual creates simply by going about the business of living. But Laney knows how to sift for the dangerous bits. Which makes him useful -- to certain people.* *Chia McKenzie is here on a rescue mission. She's fourteen. Her idol is the singer Rez, of the band Lo/Rez. When the Seattle chapter of the Lo/Rez fan club decided that he might be in trouble in Tokyo, they sent Chia to check it out.* *Rei Toei is the* idoru -- *the beautiful, entirely virtual media star adored by all Japan. Rez had declared that he will marry her. This is the rumor that has brought Chia to Tokyo. True or not, the* idoru *and the powerful interests surrounding her are enough to put all their lives in danger.*
science fiction cyberpunk cyberpunk neon-noir existential
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Sea of Tranquility 📖
20. Sea of Tranquility
St John Mandel Emily
Edwin St. Andrew is eighteen years old when he crosses the Atlantic by steamship, exiled from polite society following an ill-conceived diatribe at a dinner party. He enters the forest, spellbound by the beauty of the Canadian wilderness, and suddenly hears the notes of a violin echoing in an airship terminal--an experience that shocks him to his core. Two centuries later a famous writer named Olive Llewellyn is on a book tour. She's traveling all over Earth, but her home is the second moon colony, a place of white stone, spired towers, and artificial beauty. Within the text of Olive's best-selling pandemic novel lies a strange passage: a man plays his violin for change in the echoing corridor of an airship terminal as the trees of a forest rise around him. When Gaspery-Jacques Roberts, a detective in the black-skied Night City, is hired to investigate an anomaly in the North American wilderness, he uncovers a series of lives upended: The exiled son of an earl driven to madness, a writer trapped far from home as a pandemic ravages Earth, and a childhood friend from the Night City who, like Gaspery himself, has glimpsed the chance to do something extraordinary that will disrupt the timeline of the universe. A virtuoso performance that is as human and tender as it is intellectually playful, Sea of Tranquility is a novel of time travel and metaphysics that precisely captures the reality of our current moment.
science fiction speculative fiction melancholic existential uncanny
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Wind Sand and Stars 📖
21. Wind Sand and Stars
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
A lyrical account of the author’s time as a pilot flying the dangerous mail routes across the Sahara and the Andes. Many incidents are recounted, including the time he crashed his plane in the Sahara and, along with his navigator, is forced to walk for days without food or water before finding safety.
literary fiction memoir melancholic lyrical existential
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The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry 📖
22. The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry
Joyce, Rachel
Harold Fry has recently retired and now, he doesn't do very much. Even mowing the lawn, like his wife Maureen tells him to do, seems too much work for him. When, one day, he recieves a lettre in a pink envelope, this lazyness changes. In it, his collegue from long time ago, Queenie Hennessy, tells him she is going to die soon from a cancer in a hospice at the other end of England. Harold, at first helpless, decides not only to write her back, but to walk the whole way from Kingsbridge to Berwick-upon-Tweed. During his walk, he will not only meet a lot of people, listen to their story, but also make a journey into his own past, his relation to both Maureen and Quennie and his son David. He is walking to save Queenie, but is he also saving himself?
literary fiction contemporary fiction melancholic lyrical existential
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Sometimes a Great Notion 📖
23. Sometimes a Great Notion
Kesey, Ken
Sometimes a Great notion is a book about about the Stamper family. A tough crew who keeps getting pushed west by the youngest Stamper's whim after looking out the window. Finally they can not go any further west than a raging river on Oregon coast. Hank and the Father run a Logging operation against all odds to unionize Great characters Biggie Newton and Finally the youngest son Leland returns after his drug lab exploded. Hank and Leland fight over a Woman and Leland grows up
literary fiction contemporary fiction melancholic oppressive existential
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A Short Stay in Hell 📖
24. A Short Stay in Hell
Peck, Steven L
An ordinary family man, geologist, and Mormon, Soren Johansson has always believed he’ll be reunited with his loved ones in an eternal hereafter. Then, he dies. Soren wakes to find himself cast by a God he has never heard of into a Hell whose dimensions he can barely grasp: a vast library he can only escape from by finding the book that contains the story of his life. In this haunting existential novella, author, philosopher, and ecologist Steven L. Peck explores a subversive vision of eternity, taking the reader on a journey through the afterlife of a world where everything everyone believed in turns out to be wrong.
literary fiction speculative fiction existential bleak melancholic
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The Lathe of Heaven 📖
25. The Lathe of Heaven
Ursula K Le Guin
“The Lathe of Heaven” ; 1971 ( Ursula Le Guin received the 1973 Locus Award for this story) George Orr has a gift – he is an effective dreamer: his dreams become reality when he wakes up. He is aware of his past and present, two or more sets of memories, although the people around him are only aware of the current reality. This science fiction story is set in Portland, Oregon, in/around the late 1990s - early 2000s. Orr begins to take drugs to suppress dreams but eventually he is sent to a psychotherapist, Dr. William Haber, who has developed an electronic machine, the Augmentor, which records the brain patterns of a person as they dream. When Haber realizes that he can use Orr's unique ability to change their world, the consequences are both beneficial and frightening, both locally and globally. Orr seeks out the help of a civil rights lawyer, Heather Lelache, who attends a treatment session, and sees Portland change before her very eyes as Orr awakens. In a strange turn of events, Heather helps Orr by putting him in a dream state where Orr can undo some of Haber's actions. The result – Aliens on the Moon land on Earth ! A special affinity exists between George Orr and the Aliens, who seem to understand his unique gift. Ultimately Haber decides to impose Orr's brain patterns on his own, so that he can bring about world-wide changes. Orr and Heather feel the chaos and a sense of a void as Haber dreams. Orr rushes back to Haber's office and turns off the Augmentor. The world returns to April 1998.
science fiction speculative fiction existential oppressive uncanny
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Way Station 📖
26. Way Station
Simak, Clifford D
science fiction hard science fiction melancholic existential lonely
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The Wrinkle in Time Quintet Boxed Set-Rack Size 📖
27. The Wrinkle in Time Quintet Boxed Set-Rack Size
Madeleine LEngle
A Wrinkle in Time is a science fiction fantasy novel by American writer Madeleine L'Engle, first published in 1962. It is about Meg And Charles Walence. Their father, who was working on a interesting project called a tesseract, goes missing! Then they meet a boy and some strange women. This story won a Newbery Medal, Sequoyah Book Award and Lewis Carroll Shelf Award For this amazing story! It also has a movie! I Hope you all enjoy!
fantasy science fantasy mystical existential lyrical
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Oblomov (Translated by Marian Schwartz 2008) 📖
28. Oblomov (Translated by Marian Schwartz 2008)
Ivan Alexandrovich Goncharov
A comedic story about a member of the landed gentry of nineteenth-century Russia whose indolence destroys his life.
literary fiction psychological realism melancholic lyrical existential
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Word for World Is Forest 📖
29. Word for World Is Forest
Ursula K Le Guin
Centuries in the future, Terrans have established a logging colony & military base named “New Tahiti” on a tree-covered planet whose small, green-furred, big-eyed inhabitants have a culture centered on lucid dreaming. Terran greed spirals around native innocence & wisdom, overturning the ancient society. Humans have learned interstellar travel from the Hainish (the origin-planet of all humanoid races, including Athsheans). Various planets have been expanding independently, but during the novel it’s learned that the League of All Worlds has been formed. News arrives via an ansible, a new discovery. Previously they had been cut off, 27 light years from home. The story occurs after The Dispossessed, where both the ansible & the League of Worlds are unrealised. Also well before Planet of Exile, where human settlers have learned to coexist. The 24th century has been suggested. Terran colonists take over the planet locals call Athshe, meaning “forest,” rather than “dirt,” like their home planet Terra. They follow the 19th century model of colonization: felling trees, planting farms, digging mines & enslaving indigenous peoples. The natives are unequipped to comprehend this. They’re a subsistence race who rely on the forests & have no cultural precedent for tyranny, slavery or war. The invaders take their land without resistance until one fatal act sets rebellion in motion & changes the people of both worlds forever.
science fiction hard science fiction/speculative fiction existential oppressive lyrical
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Buy on Amazon Kindle
The Invincible 📖
30. The Invincible
Stanislaw Lem
Reads initially like the sort of traditional science fiction you might see on TV - rocket lands on foreign planet, sends out teams to discover what gives. what follows is a gripping scientific detective story as we learn the terrible secrets of a past race, and Lem takes us on a journey of wonder and awe. Reminiscent of the final passages of HG Wells' Time Machine as the author shows us beings and worlds we could never imagine. I've read this several times and will read it again and you should too.
science fiction hard science fiction oppressive existential desolate
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